Confessions Of A Jacked Up Feudal Era
by From1st2Las
Summary: Lets see.Kagome is having a baby, and not Inuyasha's. Miroku is cheating on sango with Two people!Kagura is a crack addict! Kagome gets sucked into Compton and even whitney and bobby houston make in apperance. It gets so much worse. You'll die for laughte
1. Chapter 1

**Confessions Of A Jacked Up Feudal Era  
**

**Chapter 1 **

**It was a quiet and snowy night. Everyone had gone out in search of fire wood, except for  
**

**Sango and Kagome. Kagome had something on her mind. "Hey Sango, can…can we talk for**

** a bit" she asked. "Of course Kagome" said Sango happily and cheerfully. Kagome sat next  
**

**to Sango and grabbed her hand. "Umm, Sango promise me, promise me that we will always **

**be friends" she said. "Of course Kagome, nothing can destroy our friendship" she said so **

**full of life. "Ok, well then, here I go, I have been having an affair with Miroku" said **

**Kagome. The life Sango had had just died out. "WHAT?" said Sango shocked. "I am so  
**

**sorry that this happened, but it did" said Kagome. Sango stood up and began to put her **

**amour on. "Sango what are you doing" asked Kagome. "Oh No Girlfriend, nothing could **

**destroy our relationship except that" she said. She grabbed her Hiraikotsu. "Sango don't be **

**rash" said Kagome. Kagome got up and began to run out the door. The front of the hut **

**burst open as the Hiraikotsu came flying behind Kagome. It hit her in the legs and broke **

**them. "Sango, no please, I am sorry" said Kagome. "How could you Kagome, you were my **

**best friend" said Sango "You had Inuyasha". "I know but Inuyasha couldn't even fit a **

**medium condom" said Kagome. "Are you serious" said Sango. "Yeah, they look like two **

**berries attached to a twig" said Kagome. "Wow, I always expected Inuyasha to be packing, **

**THAT'S NOT THE POINT, BACK TO YOU" said Sango who realized she was off subject. **

**Inuyasha, Shippo, and Miroku came back. "Oh my god, Kagome what happened to your **

**legs" said Miroku. "You cheating bastard, how could you" said Sango. "What are you  
**

**talking about" asked Miroku. "Kagome is pregnant with your baby" she said. "WHAT? **

**THERE IS NO WAY. SHE SAID SHE WAS ON BIRTH CONTROL!" said Miroku. "I **

**lied sorry" said Kagome. Miroku took off his prayer beads. "Today this is my WHORE **

**TUNNEL!" said Miroku. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" screamed Kagome **

**as she was being sucked into the black void. Everyone was in pure shock and couldn't react **

**in time. It was too late, Kagome was gone. Little did they know that the wind tunnel actually  
**

**transports you to the ghettos of Compton. "OH MY GOD, YOU SUCKED UP KAGOME" **

**said Inuyasha. "Well she sucked me up first last night" said Miroku. "Why you son of a **

**…" said Inuyasha when suddenly the moon turned pink. A star formed around it. An elegant**

** lady appeared before them. "Behold I am the princess of the heavens, Kaguya" she said. **

**"Look lady what the hell do you want, either show those nice tits you got or beat it" said **

**Inuyasha. "Do you know who I am, I'm Kaguya Dammit, princess of the heavens, the **

**celestial maiden, and you talk to me with respect!" she said. Inuyasha got closer to her. **

**"Kaguya, baby, I know you want this but now isn't a good time" said Inuyasha. "Why you **

**little, here's my number, I'll be back, call me" she said as she faded away. "Now, where **

**were we" said Inuyasha. When suddenly, white spirits began to float around them. "Now **

**who is it" said Inuyasha. Kikyo was standing on top of a tree with a rope around her neck. **

**"I swear I'll jump" she said crying. "Ok, that's nice Kikyo" said Inuyasha not paying **

**attention to her. She turned over her wrist. "I cut myself, see, everyday to kill the pain". **

**"Yeah Kikyo, we all do ok, it's normal" he said. "I TOOK 35 ADVIL PILLS!" she said. **

**"Well, if you're that doped up, you'd think that you would have jumped by now" said **

**Inuyasha. "Dose anyone not care about me and my life" she said. "Well, I mean we have **

**been telling you to jump for the longest, I thought you'd had gotten the message by now" he **

**said slightly laughing. "Ok Kikyo, here I come to save you" said Inuyasha as he climbed up**

** the tree. "Finally, someone cares what happens to me" said Kikyo relieved. Then Inuyasha **

**pushed her off the ledge. "God, she wouldn't shut the hell up" he said as her body was **

**dangling back and fourth. "Now umm, Miroku what were you about to say". "I was about to**

** say…" said Miroku when he was interrupted. The wind began to blow everything. The **

**leaves and dust were picked up and thrown hundreds of feet away. "God Dammit, who is it **

**now" said Inuyasha again. A massive feather came floating down. It was Kagura. She had a **

**black eye and her kimono was torn and ripped. "Inuyasha –san, please give me an **

**extension" she said on her knees kissing his feet. "Get up, where the hell is my money" he **

**asked. "Please Inuyasha, I have a little" she said as she handed him the money. He looked **

**at the money and raised his hand back. Then he swung it forward and bitch slapped the hell **

**out of Kagura. "What the hell am I supposed to do with a dollar fifty, I can't even buy toilet **

**paper to wipe my ass with a dollar fifty" he said. He grabbed Kagura by the throat. "Look **

**hoe, Kanna is already sleeping with the fishes because of your crack addiction, if you cant **

**pay the money, then don't do the drugs, I want my money" he said and threw her down. **

**"Yes Inuyasha" she said as she crawled to her feather and it lifted to the air. Suddenly a **

**black man and his wife appeared out of the bushes. "Hey Inu, you got that stuff" he asked. **

**"Come on out bobby, and tell Whitney everything is clear" said Inuyasha. Bobby Brown **

**gave Inuyasha the money and got his drugs. "Hey dog, can I get a loan" asked Bobby. **

**"Bobby, don't make me whop yo ass" said Inuyasha. "Ok, ok man, I was just asking, just **

**asking" he said and ran off. "Ok, ok finally, now" said Inuyasha as shippo ran out of the **

**bushes. "GUYS, GUYS, I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING" he said screaming. **

**Inuyasha was so pissed that he pulled out his 22 gact and capped shippo in the head. "CAN **

**I NOT HAVE PEACE AND QUIET FOR 5 MINUTES, DAM" he said pissed. "Miroku I **

**was about to say…" he said when Kouga jumped out of the bushes. He went over to Miroku**

** and kissed him on the cheek. "Hey, are we still on for our date tonight" he asked. Miroku **

**looked at Inuyasha who had turned white. Miroku slapped Kouga and punched him in the **

**stomach. "I'll call you at 9" he whispered in his hear. Kouga nodded and limped off. "I'm **

**not even going to ask" said Inuyasha. Sango was also shocked. "You've been cheating on **

**me with Kouga too" she said. "Sango, I can explain, he said he was curious, it was just **

**eleven times" he said. "Well you know what I have also been cheating on you with someone**

** too". "Who" said Miroku. "KAEDE" said Sango.**

**If you just read this story, then your probably like, wow, this story is off the wall. It goes in all different directions. So if you think this should be updated or deleted, then let me know with a review and I will go from there. thnx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Message to the reader: Sorry it took so long to update but i was busy. I hope you like this update as much as the first one. Enjoy!**

**The night was quiet and still. Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku, Shippo, and Kirara were sitting around talking. The hut door began **

**to rattle. Someone was banging on it. Sango went and opened the door. "Oh my buddist god" she said. It was a girl. She was **

**wearing skin tight jeans, a fishnet tank top and her earing's were hoops. She was carrying a prada purse. "Kagome! Oh my **

**god. I thought you died!" said Sango. She grabbed Kagome and thrust her into a hug. "Girl get off me, I aint fruity now" she **

**said all ghetto like. "Kagome I'm so sorry, can we put what happened to you in the past and be friends again?" asked Sango **

**hopefully. "Girl Whateva, I guess but if you throw your hiraikotsu at me again, I'm gonna cap yo ass" she said. "Great then, **

**come inside" said Sango. They both went inside. "Oh my god, Kagome" said Inuyasha. He ran and grabbed her and held **

**her. "Hey boo, now look ya'll cant be callin be Kagome no more, that name is hella whack. My new hood name is **

**Doughvita" she said. They all sat down. "Kago...Doughvita, where, how did you live?" asked Inuyasha. "Well when junior **

**son of a bitch over there sucked me into his whore tunnel, it actually went to Compton in Cali" she said. Inuyasha and **

**Kagome then went outside together alone. "Inuyasha, lets go to the present, we could do so much there" said Kagome **

**hugging him. "Like what Kago...Doughvita" he asked. "Just come on I'll show you" she said grabbing his hand. They both **

**went to the bone eater well and came out in the present. Inuyasha noticed that Kagome's arm had a tattoo that read: Hood **

**Thug 4 Life. They began to walk down the street. "Baby, are you still down with being bad?" she asked. "You know me, I'm **

**a bad boy at heart" said Inuyasha. "Good" said Kagome as she went into her purse. He pulled out a 22 magnum and handed **

**it to him.If you don't know a 22 magnum is a gun. "Whats this for" he asked. She then pulled out some stockings. "Put this **

**over your head" she said. He did like he was told, He just couldn't stop wondering what he was going to do with a gun and his **

**face covered by a leg stocking. She then put one over her head. They ran down another block and into the Community Bank. **

**"OK MOTHAFUCKA'S PUT YO GODDAM HANDS IN THE AIR!" said Kagome waving her gun around. The people just **

**looked at her in shock. "DID I FUCKIN STUDDER, PUT YO PUNK ASS HANDS UP!" she said again. The citizens in the **

**bank did like they were told. Kagome went up to the bank teller. "Put all the money in my expensive prada purse that I **

**didn't buy from the salvation army at half price" said Kagome. The lady began filling it with fifty's. Inuyasha went over to **

**her. "Why are we holding this bank up?" he asked. "I'll tell you later" she said. She grabbed her purse and they burnt If you **

**don't know the term burnt is slang for running very fast, like when the police are chasing you. They went back to the hut. **

**Everyone was sleeping. She sat next to Inuyasha as she counted her money. "Ok well, while I was in Cali, I got a a lil job **

**from these bitches there" she said. "Who are the girls you were working for?" asked Inuyasha. "Well one is named DD and **

**she rolls with her partners Mimi and Niki and I sold stuff for them" she said. "What kind of stuff ?" asked Inuyasha. "Good **

**stuff if you get my drift, and one day on a run i got jacked for their products and now i owe them" she said. "Who are the **

**girls ?" he asked again. "Well they are girl scouts" said Kagome. " Hold on, you mean to tell me that we just held up a bank **

**so you can pay back some girl scouts for their stolen girl scout cookies?" he asked in confusion. "Baby you don't **

**understand. DD, the bitch is powerful I mean she only in the sixth grade but the girl got connections" she said. "And her **

**partner Mimi is crazy, she been in the fourth grade for six years and Niki is only seven years old but she is 6'1 and she been **

**eating real good, she went to prison at age 5. These hoes are crazy" said Kagome crying. Her face was red with tears. **

**Inuyasha hugged her. "D...DD sai..said if i don't pay...pay her her money, she will turn my ass into an oriental lamp" said **

**Kagome crying even more. "How much do you owe her?" asked Inuyasha. "Five hundred thousand" she said still crying. **

**"DAM, what was in those cookies, crack?" he asked sarchastically. "Yes" said Kagome blowing her nose on his Kimono. **

**"Oh, well that explains it" he said. She gazed into his eyes. "Yashi, will you help me" she asked, her eyes watery and puppy **

**like. "Of course Doughvita" he said as he kissed her. The next day Kagome told the others what happened. **

**"Kago...Doughvita, I'm so sorry that your going threw this" said Miroku. "Thanks Miroku, now if your so dam sorry then **

**give me your staff, i should be able to pawn it for ten dollars at least" she said. "Kagome, I can get you some money, lets **

**go" said Inuyasha. They went back to the present times and Kagome hot wired her mom's convertible. They went to a **

**mansion in a well kept neighborhood. The mailbox in front of the house read: THE HOUSTONS. Inuyasha and Kagome **

**went up to the door and he knocked on it. No one came. He knocked again. Still no answer. "Dammit Bobby, open the door, **

**I want my money bitch" he said. Then a window opened. "Whitney, where the hell is Bobby?" asked Inuyasha. Whitney **

**Houston threw a bag down. "Don't hurt us please" she said. Then Bobby came in the window view and slapped the hell out of **

**Whitney and slammed the window. Inuyasha looked in the bag. It had a hundred one's in it. "Just a hundred dollars, thats it, **

**Kagome grab the guns" said Inuyasha. They both went back to the car parked across the street from the mansion. Kagome **

**handed him a big black case. "These bitches want to play, well they can play with my HAWK EYE MISSLLE LAUNCHER" **

**he said putting the pieces together. He aimed it at the house. The front door burst opened as Whitney came flying out in her **

**bath robes. Bobby came out right behind her. "Aim and...Fire!" he said. A guided missile went sparking out the launcher and **

**rammed into the mansion. The house blew up in flames. White powder flew everywhere. There was so much cocaine that it **

**got trapped in the clouds and began to sprinkle down like snow. The whole city was being covered in it as it snowed **

**downward. "NOOOO, THAT WAS OUR SAVINGS FOR THE COMING NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST" said Whitney **

**sobbing. "Wait a minute, Bobby our daughter was in there" said Whitney. Bobby turned his hand over and back hand **

**slapped the hell out of her. "Fuck that, look at all our crack. Its all over the place" said Bobby pulling out his hair. He ran to **

**the garden and began sniffing the crack off the rose pedal. Whitney just snorted it off the ground. Inuyasha and Kagome got **

**in the car and sped off. "That will teach them not to mess with me" said Inuyasha. Suddenly they heard police sirens behind **

**them. "Oh shit, its the pigs" said Kagome.**

**To be continued...****

* * *

****Note to the reader: I hope you enjoyed it and if you did leave me a review. And also, in my story I made Kagome extremely ghetto, like extremely ghetto. Please Don't think all people of a certain color are like this. Don't stereotype. Like your walking down the street one day and see a person of color and be like "She probably act just like Kagome in that one guys story, let me cross the street before we get close and she cap me". Thank you. If you are related to the Whitney and Bobby Houston, I'm sorry for making fun of your relatives, but those crack heads are just to funny to not make fun of them. And if you are related to them tell Whitney to gain some dam weight, god. Thanks for reading. REVIEW ME PLEASE!**


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